What’s less shocking than the Republican chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children getting busted for making inappropriate advances on teenage Congressional pages?

Well, it would probably be the unwed, formerly pregnant daughter of the former Vice Presidential candidate (who strongly advocated abstinence-only education) being left before she ever made it to the altar by the semi-retarded fuckstick who knocked her up! That’s right, new mother and first daughter of Alaska, Bristol Palin, has been unceremoniously dumped by former boyfriend/current douchebag, Levi Johnston, who gave a press conference from the steps of his family’s home. Apparently, it took the less than 3 months of his child’s life to realize he was not ready for this parenting shit, of course, he could have thought about that before he shot his Budweiser-infused semen into the daughter of the Governor!